A POEM BY BEN PARKER - 9/7/17

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laid rest to the old me

in the present i was told

that the future will try and fold me

scream to the clouds

is there any gold for me?

i saw 6 magpies

but theres no money or medal for me

no smiles no dap ups when you saw me

motive feeling Titanic

its about time someone reassures me

ill be damned if somebody boss me

white smile stays gleaming

no need to floss me

fall in the pussy like banana peel

no need to toss me

my name speaks for itself

no need to gloss me

spending too much time on the internet

to remember my place in reality

asked my friend is it monday

and she replied thursday

these days are rolling by

everyday feels like the first day

im no Migo its not that way

i never trapped by the subway

but at times i trapped my mind

and made it function in a numb way

didnt feel the stimulus

the motors stopped turning

passion for my motives steadily

stopped burning

only thing i knew was that

i was breathing and earning

enough to take me to Berlin

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winter 2016 my mental health was concerning

seasonal depression had me trippin'

will this be a chronic yearning?

for brighter days

and stronger friendships

and girls i could trust

and guys i could hang with

went to Brixton

met a guy called Matt

who i sang with

i passed out that show

too much vodka he had given me

but what was i to know

fast forward into new year

and i began to feel the glow

weight up as the sundown

became later each week

perhaps this new year would cure

the mindstate fixated with being bleak

now i did feel the gold within

new palms

spring clean

i bought new garms

pastelle sweaters covered

lanky arms

call me Mr Veiny

theyre my lucky charms

reminding me of the circulation

to remind myself my motives

needed no explanation

only to myself

friendship groups expanded

like a mosh pit

with more girls thinking im pretty

i began to feel like the right fit

to my jigsaw i had found my place

the strive to be accepted

can sometimes feel like a space race

but this was no Virgin Mary

hunting for a stable

i wasnt looking for hospitality 

i was just trying to find consistency

something i could call normality

but with relationships falling through

like weak floorboards

i was getting rode like a surfboard

rather than looking for the right pair

now i cant walk through my town 

without getting a short stare

hence the dark cobains

as i stroll past these no names

i feel celebrity

and i dont even know myself

who am i? whats my date of birth?

i died last year

can sometime tell me my name?

the hair colour changed

but the nose still the same

the girls come and go

but the boys stay the same

my life so picture perfect now

it just needs a frame

i look back at the ones who left

aint that a shame?

feel like im sailing the Ark

i wanna inspire my friends

i want them to see their potential

i wanna tie up loose ends

let me be the manual

to show you your own ropes

you just need to look harder in the mirror

allow me to provide the telescopes

back to the future trying to fold me

i know the heat will come

i can feel the karma about to scold me

but for now i live everyday like the last

im not even corny

im not high or horny

im just reflecting on the journey

i pulled this body through

i can explain it the best i can

but i just wish the right ones knew

maybe then everyone i love 

would fuck with me 

and not prejudice my image

got enough loyal friends already

to build ourselves a village

im ready to make big moves

whilst the lost ones pillage

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but i know i have no fame

if you saw me in a crowd

my face look just the same

as the next fuckboy beside me

but i could show you something unique

if only you tried me

i dont even get made 

at the ones who denied me

just dont expect a reply

when you come back around

to ride me

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