A POEM BY BEN PARKER - 15/3/17

 

i am very grounded

6 feet deep to be exact

if i really passed away

i wonder how my friends

would react

i wonder how quickly

my room would be packed

if i really had to go then

i think ive got a tac

tic

having visions that'd make

a normal man sick

how my mind falls off like

a loose brick

changes like a switch

and with just one flick

im back in hell

like "hey, how you been?"

"are you back for one more stay?"

little do they know i have a black card

and a secret handshake

with the devil

i can never stay away

good friends tell me

i should find some new hobbies

im tryna get my grades good

to explore international hotel lobbies

i cant let the dark shade out

the painting im creating

i cant overthink this decision

im debating

just know that i am fine

these are just late night thoughts

when loved ones go cold on me

like i didnt eat it fast enough

whats the rush on commitment

and the desire to cuff

im a sucker for love

my willpower just aint tough

but my girl is a princess

she holds me down

like shes about to pick a filter

she could look good in 

nothing but a gown

have my mind doing flips

like my conscience is a grill

got a couple secrets that

we can never spill

overthinking like "is 2+2 really 4?"

minds like a revolving door

and theres a draft that cant stop

spewing negativity all over the floor

but this is my home

your body is a temple

but mine is more like a stable

because the roof is unstable

and all this hay

im the donkey of the day

if you want to beef 

then thats a game we 

should not play

i got more tea than Tetley

to spill and ruin your day

and your relationship

take the heat to a new degree

youre stuck on an apprenticeship

in how to be basic and follow

the crowd

like a sheep

your parents should have

called you Shaun

and to be honest

you look like a dude come the

break of dawn

until you layer that foundation

your powders and potions

to make you feel worth something

no one really cares until

you accidentally birth something

so for now keep your legs closed

hit the books

and not the timeline

the only thing your elders want 

are for your grades to be fine

not your bed game and ig follow count

or all the sugardaddy dollar

in your bank account

​

rant over

feeling lucky

4 leaf clover

soon ill take my ass to Dover

and either throw myself off

or sail into the moonrise

and never return with no compromise

or second thought that i should

abort this plan

after all what is there at home for me

hang myself like a jacket

if my enemies really saw me

for who i am

and not for what i stand for

my closest friends tight knit but

im trying to expand more

find out why im running this race for

and then you cross the line

and they say "Congrats, you found the meaning"

then they shoot your brains upon the race track 

and bright young eyes

soon turn cold and roll back